Malaysia Boleh!

Seen this?

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Malaysia

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Asian_People

Confessions of a Facebook Junkie

yeah..yeah..i bet most of us are..admit it or not..lol.. here's some signs ..just in case you're not sure..

15 Signs You're Addicted to Facebook
by Glamour

1. Work has become a nice break from Facebook, rather than the other way round.

2. When you're not on Facebook, you're trawling the internet for a new job as you're convinced you'll be sacked for excessive Facebooking very soon.

3. The first thing you think when you are fired for excessive Facebooking is, 'Great, now I can spend more time on Facebook.'

4. You've become a Facebook pusher. "Try it once, you'll love it..." you say to networking virgins.

5. You obsessively check your friends'/ex-boyfriends'/total strangers' list of friends to see if they have more than you. And if they do...

6. ...you become a friend thief. Who cares if you don't know them? All's fair in love and Facebook war...

7. The last time you had any intimate contact was when you were 'poked' by some guy you haven't seen for two years. Actual sex is so last century.

8. You've just spent the last hour looking at photos of someone you don't even know.

9. When it comes to meeting people, if they're not 'on' they're not worth bothering with. Who needs real friends when you're trying to reach the elusive 150 mark with your virtual ones?

10. You forget your best friend's birthday but you figure she'll be perfectly happy if you 'gift' her a cocktail and a Happy Birthday balloon.

11. You've had three group invites this morning but seem to be having yet another quiet night in tonight.

12. You turn down a night out at the pub quiz to play Scrabulous. Its a game, you're playing it with a friend and having a drink while you do it. What's the difference?

13. When it comes to solving real-life problems, your Magic 8 Ball application has made decision making easy. So what if you were in love with the guy it told you to dump? Plenty more fish in the Facebook sea...

14. You haven't had a food fight for ten years but now your day isn't complete until you've thrown something at a friend. It's a sign of affection, you know.

15. You're dreading your holiday because you can't face going cold turkey.

There you have it..if you have any other symptoms, do share..sharing is caring..haha!

Facebook - When I Want You

had to grab this one..lol..so damn true!! what are we becoming??
(but just for the record.. i am proud to say that i haven't logged in to Facebook the last 6 days..but only bcos I was partying the days away in KL..with fellow Facebook friends, of course..hehe! sad but true..)

My Loony Bun is Hot Benny Lava!

ha ha ha!! i can't stop laughing at this funny video.Kong Ming sent this to me on Facebook and I think I forwarded it to everyone in my list..it's just so silly...Lyrics by buffalax..he's got more funny vids on YouTube.



Play!!!!!

Gay Flight Attendant Commercial from UK

it tickles me..so cheeky

"so just recline and let me service you"

lol

All Star American Idol

just had to put this one back on..tee heee hee!! Bob-bay!!!!! lol

Kasih Pantat does KK

These Miri guys are so damn funny!! I cried laughing. It's a blog about their trip to KK.

Kasih Pantat
...sorry guys..too funny NOT to share lah..lol

It's interesting to look at KK through local tourists' eyes. Have a read, but keep the tissues close by..(for your tears, bongok..)

Court recordings

Actual court recordings

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things
people actually said in court, word for word,
taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example! of
some thing you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said
to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Do you really know what you said?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you joking? Your Honor, I think I
need a different attorney. Can I get a new Attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated
it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still
been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law.

Kiddies' Prayers

a Hallmark moment

Do I look pretty?

Fooling around with my Mac's photo booth..lol


Julia dear..u know what they say about guys with a big nose, dont cha'? lol


Derrick before he puts on his make-up




Mel, Pip & me

Pip!! so cool..

more here

Things Every Drunkard Should Do Before He Dies

got this list off a drunkard mag, i only improvised it a lil bit..honest..

A man is,
ultimately, the sum of his accomplishments.

If you manage all before you take a barstool at St. Gabriel’s Pearly Gate Lounge, you may feel secure in the fact that you’ve lived a rich and full life, even if only the boys and girls down at happy hour think so. And when you do belly up to that big open bar in the sky and the bartender asks: “What sort of life did you lead?” you can look him right in the eye and say, “Gabe, baby, I’m glad this is eternity, because I’ve got a helluva lot of stories to tell.”

1.) Open and close a bar.Find one that opens its doors before noon. Stake out a comfortable seat and hunker down. Resist informing the bartender of your tremendous plan, as this will cause him to pour waves of pre-celebratory shots and you won’t survive happy hour. Pacing is everything. Watch the crowds come and go, watch bartenders rise, reign and fade . From that day forward, within the walls of that bar at least, your name will be legend.

* Done. Cottage, Loft, Uno..hmm..where else?? Feel free to add, Mel & PJ ?

2.) Go on a bender.Dangerous, yes, but so is getting out of bed in the morning. It won’t be easy. You must start drinking the moment you wake up and carry on until you go under. Then start over again. In your grandfather’s day you had to drink two weeks straight before you could officially declare yourself on a proper jag, but that’s when a mug of beer cost a nickel. These days four straight days and nights will give you all the bragging rights you need.

* Done. Kaamatan Festival..Aramaitiiiiiiii !!!!!!

3.) Dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd.Cast aside your fear of public opinion, march to the center of the room’s attention and boogie down. You don’t need a partner, you don’t even need music, do a happy jig to the beat of your own drum. Of course, it helps to be really really drunk.

* Done and proud of it.

4.) Get drunk on the grave of your hero. Wait until the cemetery closes for the night, then slip over the fence with a bottle of something strong. Prop your back against the gravestone and tell your hero how much he inspired you, how he changed your life, revel in the fact that your inspiration is only six feet of hard-packed earth away. It’ll be the greatest one-sided conversation you’ll ever have. Then pass out. Let the groundskeeper be your alarm clock.

* Hmm..have to go to Paris, get hammered and look for Jim Morrison's grave..

5.) Buy a crowded bar a round. For no reason at all. Jump up on a barstool and shout it loud: “A round for the house! On me!” Make sure you have a good toast ready, because, for once, they’ll all be listening.

* Nope. Hope I never do. Or have I ? hmmm...

6.) Extravagantly overtip a bartender.The next time a bartender is especially kind or proficient, lay a massive tip on him. I mean, massive. You must be relatively sober or they’ll discount the act as drunken foolishness. Say something smooth like, “You’re the best of your kind,” drop the bomb, and—this is important—walk out of the bar without another word. With this single act of unexpected generosity, you will restore a bartender’s faith in humanity and give your own self-image a healthy boost.

* Done. Loads of free booze from the darling bartender after that night. ;)

7.) Buy, build or steal a home bar.Put the well right in your home. Outfit it with many sparkling bottles, accruement and tools. Sit on your barstool with a grossly over-poured cocktail and think: “This is my bar. No one can cut me off, no one can kick me out, none but the floor can announce last call.” You’ve been a sharecropper long enough. Get your own plot of land.

* Done. But the bar is currently under-stocked..thanks to all my drinking buddies.

8.) Get carried home by your drinking buddies.In the company of friends you can trust, get fantastically loaded to the point you cannot stand, nevermind walk. Let them brace you from both sides and carry you homeward. Sing like an Irish uncle. Swear love and fealty to your human crutches. These are the bonds that never break.

* Done. Thank you to all my human crutches a.k.a. my loyal subjects..esp the sweet PJ ;) Love ya.

9.) Get drunk with your father/mother.Getting loaded with the man/woman who brought you into this world is one of the most deeply mystical experiences a human being can manage. If you can’t get your father/mother to commit, find an elder you respect.

* Done and done. How lucky am I & Mel..lol

10.) Visit the source of your favorite beer, wine or liquor. Make a pilgrimage to the headwaters. Follow the river that’s fed you joy to its source. Stand amongst the vats and barrels and absorb the knowledge that this is the spring from which the good times flow. Drink as many free samples as they’ll give you. It might mean a trip to Dublin or Tennessee, but from that moment on you can gaze into your glass and think, “Lad, I met your mother.”

* On the top of my list of things to do.

11.) Drunkenly watch the sun come up with your best boozing buddies and a bottle.You’ve spent plenty of time railing against the dying of the light, this time welcome its birth. With a shot.

* Done. Done. Done.

12.) Sit in on an A.A. meeting.Not all accomplishments are rum and games. File this under the heading of facing your fears. Just as Jonah found enlightenment in the belly of a beast, so will you. You may come to look at it as a sober examination of the safety net. You may view it as a cautionary trip to hell. Either way, you’ll never have to wonder again.

* Nope. Did you guys know that there's an A.A. in KK now? Who wants to join me on this one? Anybody??

13.) Hit a dozen bars in one night.Make like Marco Polo. Instead of eating one lousy apple, take a bite out of a dozen exotic fruits. Chase the ever elusive good time. A rolling stone gathers no bar tabs.

* Of course lah..done. KL, Phuket, Bali, London..easily accomplished. But in KK..hmm..I salute those who have..

14.) Juice on the job.You will never comprehend just how pleasurable the workaday grind can be until you bring your old chum alcohol along. You don’t have to get boss-punching drunk, just sneak enough to loosen up that tight harness. It’ll make you wish you worked for a drinking magazine.

* Done. Easy when you're running a bar..heaven..

15.) Get loaded and tell your boss exactly how you feel.It could go down at the company picnic, the Christmas party, or maybe, if you’re really going after Accomplishment #14, right at the office. It’s tremendously cathartic. Years of stress and bitterness will drop from your shoulders and for the first time, after you’re done unloading, you will see your employer as an actual human being. You may very well get fired, but hey, if you’re angry enough to go berserk on your boss, you need to get a new job anyway.

*Done. And got a raise. lol. Seriously.

16.) Send a friend a bottle of good liquor.Don’t tell him/her it’s coming. Attach a card reading: “Tonight the drinks are on me.” He/she will never forget it. There is no better feeling than unexpected free booze.

* Done. Friend well pleased.

17.) Learn at least one traditional drinking song. There’s nothing like a table of drunks bellowing an unidentifiable song in unison to scare the bejesus out of the bar staff. eg. Apa guna si Mona, apa guna si Mona, kalau tidak pandai moginum!!?? repeat till Mona drinks to the last drop..

*countless times..lol

18.) Steal some booze. Against the law? Sure. A hell of a rush? Absolutely. Of course, not getting caught is very important. Plan well. Nothing tastes quite so sweet.

* err..done..muahahahahha..

19.) Try absinthe. Do the full ritual with the spoon and sugar. Drink enough to feel the full effect. Stroll the path that Hemingway, Van Gogh, Degas, F. Scott, and myriad other geniuses spent their lives pounding flat. Just don’t cut your ear off.

* of course..it's yummy..and lethal..word of advise, ONLY try this at home, or at a friend's..oh! f**k it! just f**king try it! it's gooooood...

20.) Work at least a week as a bartender.You’ll never fully understand the drinking culture as a whole until you’ve spent some time on the supply side of the wood. The empathy it will lever into your psyche will change your bar behavior forever.

* Done..after 2 years of it, it hasn't changed my bar behavior at all..

21) Drink tapai . You are not a 'true drunkard' until you've tried tapai. Come to Sabah, Land of the Tapai..the lovely people of Sabah will not let you leave the state until they have forced you down on the tapai jar, again..and again..and again.. One warning..after drinking tapai you may believe that you can fly like an eagle.

* Done. Aramaitiiii..!!! I miss my 'tapai' drinking buddy..Mae!! Mana kau!! hehe..

22.) Make your own beer, wine or moonshine.There are fewer finer feelings in the world than to nurture booze from it’s humble, evil-tasting origins to something you can get hammered on. Just expect to repeat these words over and over again when you go mad on the blood of your creation: “I made this! Me! And now I’m drinking it! Woo-hoo!”

* In the process..who wants to be my guinea-pig? lol

Well..boys & girls..you're encouraged to add to the list..(c'mon Shan, you know you want to..)

okay..i'm off..time to brew my poison..